let this stun you. →
Real life emails I get
Dear Molly : Hope you are doing well. The team at Blowit would sincerely like to thank you for your business. Attached is a copy of your invoice. Thanks and best regards, Blowit Team
i love everyone and no one.
taxes & porn
I went to the exclusive* H&R Block this week to do my taxes. They were done by what looked like an 18 year old Latvian porn star. She looked down at my employment records which all make mention of “Film Services Canada”. She asked me in her thick EastEu accent what films I was in. It took everything in my power not to say “None, but you must’ve been in a few”. ...
ham & cheez whiz
A homeless gentleman accompanied me for several blocks on my way to work today. He asked me how my Easter was. I told him it was fine and returned the question. He told me he ate ham, turnips and brussel sprouts. I told him that his meal was much better than mine which was a 3am plate of french fries doused in Cheez Whiz from Weiner Circle in Chicago. He told me that he stole his ham and if I...